Excerpts

Preface and Introduction

Despite the sometimes well-deserved criticism of self-help and the self-esteem movement, there are many thousands of people who have successfully implemented the information and advice found there, and have raised their self-esteem and taken new control of their lives. It is my hope that this work will be found thoughtful, realistic and helpful even by intelligent critics of the self-help movement.

Regardless of the challenges and problems in the self-help literature industry, life-change is one of the most sought after commodities in the information marketplace. And, paradoxically, one of the most resisted.

This book is written to:

  • raise awareness of our resistance to needed change
  • analyze the origins of that resistance to change
  • highlight the situations in which that resistance threatens survival and success
  • provide insight, motivation and courage to take appropriate steps toward change

This was a critical decision time for Roy.  As I circled above, my eyes flashed back and forth between my altimeter and Roy’s vain attempts to get his parachute canopy to behave as it should. His altitude was slipping away.  I tried to shout, but was too far above him to be heard.   In an effort to close the distance, I pulled down hard on my left front riser to create a corkscrew downspin.  Finally in his field of vision, I let up on the riser and put my hands to my mouth to yell “Cut away!” but before I could shout, Roy grabbed the right-side handle on the front of his harness and punched it out vigorously.

I could see his face as he fell away from the crippled main ‘chute.  His eyes and lips crinkled into a grimace as his left hand punched out with the reserve ripcord.  But…happy ending!  He fell less than 200 feet before the reserve canopy snapped open crisply above his head.

It’s difficult to cut away from a parachute that is “sort of" working.  You must have complete faith that the reserve canopy will save you, as there are no more chances.  As skydiving students, we are warned sternly about the false sense of safety that a “partially working” main canopy could produce. 

Human beings are notoriously reluctant to give up the comfort of familiar, but dysfunctional habits or behaviors for the promise of true safety, satisfaction and peace-of –mind.

What skews our judgment?  What compromises our critical thinking and risk assessment when it comes to making big life changes?  What universal human characteristics create resistance to the changes we clearly need to make?

5 things create resistance to the life changes we need to make. These are "The Big 5."

  1. The Unrelenting Attraction of our Comfort Zones
  2. Creeping Thresholds of Discomfort
  3. The Power of Denial
  4. Fear of the Unknown
  5. Learned Helplessness

 

Excerpts

Introduction |  Chapter 1 |  Chapter 2 |  Chapter 3 |  Chapter 4 |  Chapter 5 |  Chapter 6 |  Chapter 7
Chapter 8 |  Chapter 9 |  Chapter 10 |  Chapter 11 |  Chapter 12 |  Chapter 13 |  Chapter 14